Guard Your Vulnerability
What is Vulnerability?
Vulnerability, very simply, means to be open. When you are in a state of openness, you're susceptible to many things. Some of those things being: judgement, criticism, and emotional turmoil, being misunderstood, just to name a few. Just by considering the definition of vulnerability, and the different things it opens you to, it is very clear to see why one should guard their vulnerability. It is one of the most precious emotional jewels that humankind has in its possession. It has great benefits, but if used without discretion, it can lead to a great downfall.
You should only share your vulnerability with those that have proven themselves to be trustworthy and understanding. Anyone that can't be trusted is someone that does not deserve the privilege of accessing your vulnerability. If you think about it, vulnerability and trust are one in the same; neither of the two can work successfully without the other. Therefore, trust must be established prior to allowing entrance into the most private areas of your life.
Unguarded Vulnerability
The beauty of vulnerability is unquestionable. To be open and honest about how you feel without being judged is undeniably beautiful. Sharing your fears with someone who can understand because their fears are identical is beautiful. Having someone love you perfectly even after coming to know your many imperfections is absolutely beautiful. However, with all of its beauty, vulnerability should still remain guarded. It should be guarded until you are sure that the person you wish to give it to will consistently value and respect it, and protect it as if it were their own. If you're not certain whether you can trust a person, always search for signs. Pay attention to how they respond when you tell them certain things. Pay attention to see if they have a bad habit of repeating things you tell them to others. These small signs play a major role in determining if someone can handle your vulnerability.
Most of us are prone to believe that anyone that lends us a listening ear can be trusted. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. The sad reality is, some people will only listen because they are nosy. Learn to strictly share information with people who are concerned and care about you because they will always do more than just listen to you. They will go the extra mile to help resolve the issue; they will pray for you when you can’t pray for yourself; they won’t ask unnecessary questions; they'll help you carry your burdens. Why? Simply because true loyalty and love starts with listening but it doesn't end there.
When the Door is Unlocked..
Before opening the door of your home to allow someone to come in, you glance through the peep hole or ask "who is it?" to ensure that it is someone you know. This same method should be applied to your relationships in life. Before you unlock the door of your trust and allow someone into the place where your vulnerability dwells, know who they are first. By doing so, you will save yourself unnecessary heartache, damaged trust, and emotional frustration. Most of the unwanted emotional pain we experience is often the result of not truly knowing those we are in relationship with.
When you finally decide to unlock the door to your trust, never close the door to your wisdom. In other words, don't tell everything to a person just because you've decided they are trustworthy. There are some things that you should keep to yourself until the appointed time (if there is one) comes to tell someone else. The issue most of have is, we fail to understand that everyone does not need to know everything about you. Your life was never intended to be an open book. Some call it being overly secretive; I call it being very smart.
Transparency requires you to tell the truth. It doesn't require you to tell everything. Be wise. Applying limitations to your transparency will prevent your vulnerability from being abused. Without having limits to your transparency, you'll oftentimes find yourself in a place of regret wishing that you didn't open your mouth too soon, or at all. Always know what to tell, who to tell it to, and when to tell it.
Transparency requires you to tell the truth. It doesn't require you to tell everything. Be wise. Applying limitations to your transparency will prevent your vulnerability from being abused. Without having limits to your transparency, you'll oftentimes find yourself in a place of regret wishing that you didn't open your mouth too soon, or at all. Always know what to tell, who to tell it to, and when to tell it.
