For Those Offended by Transition

To truly value someone is to respect what is best for them, even when it no longer includes you. Time has a tendency to present change that no one can see coming beforehand; and it forces you to redefine your normalcy and learn ways to survive without something/someone that was once constant in your environment. Many times, tomorrow will change who a person is in your life today---against their desire and yours.

This year, from a personal account and distant observations, I have noticed how people "get in their feelings" and take offense to transitions they either can't accept or comprehend. Thus, they do things like, bleed over social media with Instagram quotes about backstabbing or subliminal Facebook posts highlighted in shade. Yes, we see you!

But I wonder: have we gotten so comfortable with people's roles in our lives that we have eliminated the possibility of them ever growing beyond us? It seems that loving people and appreciating their contributions has transformed into restrictive boundaries that are unfair and unrealistic. Perhaps that explains the struggle many have with releasing people when inevitable transition comes into play.

I don't want to harp on tediously about this subject, but I need to drop these 3 points and then go take my shower:

WHO SAID IT WAS A FOREVER THING ANYWAY?
Nothing lasts forever. That's a cliché, but its truth is always proven through life's twists and turns. The mistake we make is becoming so familiar with a person's presence, we don't know how to be left. As a result, we harbor ill feelings for the person leaving us.

LET THEM GROW ON
You may not understand their transition or fully agree with the timing of their decision, but respect it anyway. Why should they have to sacrifice their growth at the altar of your selfishness? Furthermore, regardless of the position you hold in anyone's life, that doesn't render you the power to dictate their growth processes; and it certainly doesn't grant you permission to make them feel guilty for going in the direction of their new beginning. If their tenure with you has significance, you'd be able to put your feelings on pause long enough to give them them your blessings and well wishes.

RESPECT THE HISTORY
There are few things worse than someone who has the kind of loyalty that only lasts as long as the relationship does. Those that understand the concept of unconditional loyalty, also possess the ability to respect the history that's there. It puts your immaturity on full display when you contrive an enemy of someone that never had an agenda to offend you. And, it speaks low volumes of your integrity when you use conversations as a tool to make someone develop disdain toward a person they don't know or a situation that doesn't include them (even if they know the person).

Listen! If handling separation seems to be arduous for you, a heart check is the best prescription. The solution isn't to make them your problem; but instead, explore those internal issues that stifles your ability to cope with change. Everyone has to face the experience of others transitioning out of their life. Learn to be okay with it because being offended by it won't change anything.

#TheGraceFactor
Instagram/Twitter: @khasdock

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