I believe that a private life is a happy life, but I also believe that opening your life up just enough can provide a beam of light for someone else's life. So, here we go....
A little over a year ago, I relocated to Atlanta from New Jersey. For personal reasons, I made the transition without warning a lot of people. Some were offended; some were understanding; and others speculated that I moved because golden opportunities were on the table--but very few knew that the move was actually a remedy to escape complete homelessness. Prior to boarding an evening flight to ATL, I spent over a month with my head barely above the waters of uncertainty. Nothing about my tomorrows were predictable so I took on every day with zero guarantees and whatever faith I could find for that day. Everyone was encountering Khas but no one discerned the fragmented spirit that was in their presence. I went to church, hung out with friends, attended events and meetings, assisted with projects, and so on. Although I was present, nobody really knew the sacrifice that showing up was for me.
Since moving from New Jersey, I've scored some major highs and I've also suffered some disconcerting lows - but you know what? God was ever present. It's not that He wasn't before, but something about affliction and bad days heightened my awareness to recognize His nearness. I discovered that it was easier to invite God into my brokenness rather than believe my reality had to be perfect before I could engage His presence. That revelation remains my saving grace to this day.
As this year closes, I'm most thankful for the sustaining power of God's presence. I've felt His presence rescue me from depression and refuse to let me give attention to suicidal thoughts. I've felt God's presence hug me when I was exhausted from pretending to be okay. More than ever before, I know what it means for the name of the Lord to be a strong tower. When I've had nothing, I had that name. On days when I couldn't compose a fancy prayer with big words and scriptural phrases, I learned the simplicity and power of just saying "Jesus".
2014 has taught me a lot, but my most favorite and most valuable lesson is: nothing in this life is strong enough to separate me from the (limitless) LOVE of God! That love got me out here feeling like I'm unstoppable.
Dear 2015, I'm ready for you...
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